A member of the "Silent Ranks" that doesn't want to be so silent.

Transitioning out

It’s been a while since I’ve written on here mainly because the last year has been… hectic.  In December we found out that my husband was not getting promoted.  This despite excellent fitreps, multiple qualifications, being ranked second in his squadron… it was a shock, to us and to his squadron.  There was nothing else my husband wanted to do, he wanted to be a lifer and now we are almost a year into the ramifications of that board and the transition has been really hard.  So we figured, we’ve been through worse… we we’ll be fine.  I left a few months before our PCS date to make sure the dog and my son avoided the patriot express and that went well.  I also left a little early to help plan my sisters wedding.  My husband was going to get sent somewhere out of the country in those last 3 months so I figured might as well not spend it alone and start taking care of business.  Then we could move the family together.  Well, seemed easy enough… AND THEN…

They PCS him only to be deployed two weeks after he got there and be gone until right before he has to get out.  So I decided to move close to my family and get a job in preparation for him getting out.  So a year apart, awesome.  This is deployment #3 for us.  My husband, by the end of this will never have gotten to experience his son at age two.  I thought this would be a piece of cake, it’s not the first deployment… I know what to expect etc.  But then, there was something I didn’t factor in… our son.  And that’s a whole different thing that I wasn’t prepared for.  Listening to your kid ask for their dad and saying they miss dad is really tough.  Watching your kid reach milestones alone, that’s tough too.  Standing behind a birthday cake holding your son while everyone sings happy birthday without daddy being there… I was holding back tears.  I refused to ruin my kids birthday party over crying so I held it in.  But inside my heart was a little broken.  Though it helped I was surrounded by friends and family.  We where able to Skype him for a little bit that day, and I saw it… he was holding back the same pain.

We’re both proud and honored to be part of the USMC family, it’s been almost 12 years.  But damn it, sometimes it’s tough.  So now we’re just looking to the future, trying to keep positive about our new life outside of the military and taking it one day at a time.

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