A member of the "Silent Ranks" that doesn't want to be so silent.

Men Who Prey on Military Spouses

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This is a side of being a military spouse that I truly hate.  It’s hard enough that our husbands are constantly gone for training, have late nights at work and deploy for months at a time.  Then there’s those men that wait for the deployments to make a move on vulnerable lonely spouses that make a bad and difficult situation really uncomfortable.  And the worst part, it’s usually someone you already know.

On my husbands last deployment I did the usual, sat at home depressed and worried.  Decided to binge on deserts, learned showers weren’t a total necessity for a little too long.  Then male friends that hadn’t talked to me in MONTHS or come to visit while my husband was home started calling with reasons to come visit.  Some of them I lived an HOUR away from.  Now ladies, it doesn’t matter how nice or close you are as friends.  Use common sense in these scenarios.  Lunch invitations, coffee invitations, home visits…. don’t put yourselves in bad situations.  If they don’t ask you to do these things when your husband is home then their intentions are probably less than honest.  They will be pushy, don’t give in!  They will make excuses to see you that seem credible.  A simple, “my husband is gone and I don’t feel right doing that” or “maybe when my husband returns from deployment”.

Oftentimes it can be easy to give in because sometimes as women we are TOO nice and don’t necessarily see bad intentions.  Or we feel wrong about it and say yes thinking that they’ll get off our back.  Not worth it.

No, I’m not saying you should stay home and be a hermit.  Take a class, get a hobby, take the kids out if you have them and go out with friends and family.  But be weary of male friends that suddenly want to spend time with you while your husband is deployed.

And I know that there’s some military spouses that welcome the attention but that is another blog post…

~SS

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