No matter what the situation is, people feel the need to classify and group each other into categories. The military does this to our husbands but under no circumstances do I believe that as military spouses should we do this to each other. I do not wear my husbands rank and I don’t believe any one should. Through my years as a military girlfriend and then spouse, I’ve had the opportunity to talk to a lot of women only to find out that there are in fact many women that wear their husbands rank and will not friend other women if their husbands rank is lower than theirs.
I am reminded of a bridal event that I attended years ago, I met two girls who were getting married to lance corporals. They shared with me how they had been mistreated by women who were married to Sergeants and above. How they were disrespected and shut down. My husband was a Lieutenant at the time and I was told that I would never see this side of what military wives can be like because my husband was an officer and they would be respectful to me. I was totally appalled! I understand that there are issues of fraternization that need to be avoided, I get that if I friended a wife who has an enlisted husband in the squadron that we couldn’t go out on a double date. But this would never EVER give me feelings of superiority to the point where I wouldn’t be kind, respectful or helpful to someone!
The military does this to us as well, they have separate family events where we are kept from interacting with each other and placed with our “own kind”. In order to avoid fraternization. I rarely ever meet any enlisted wives unless outside of my husbands squadron. And I have many Enlisted friends outside of the squadron. Even within the women that I know, treating a Lieutenants wife like a lesser creature if your husband is above theirs in rank is unacceptable. We are in this together. This happened to me often before my husband turned Captain so I’m not going to say that women on the officer side are any better at this.
On another occasion I saw a gunny’s wife snub a corporals wife to get to the front of a sign-in line! My husband was a Captain at the time and I waited my turn! Once she found out who my husband was she stopped talking, and walked away. I could not believe that women do this to each other! I say no more of this! As military wives we should be accepting and respectful of one another and leave the other stuff to our husbands. We shouldn’t wear our husbands rank, we should wear our OWN accomplishments and be better people for it. There is nothing that says that having a husband that has a higher rank means that you are entitled to cut in front of the line and disrespect people who in the grand scheme of things, have a lot more in common with you than not.